Finding and Keeping Love
An accomplishment? More like endurance training.
I do not believe it’s easy in modern American dating culture to find a partner or keep one. Many of us believe that we have a lot of choices, and that’s why we can go through each choice quickly if something doesn’t seem right. This is an illusion of choice that isn’t widely discussed or inspected.
I found that dating multiple people over a long period, even at a steady pace of focusing on 1 or 2 per week, led to instances where I suspected that it would take many tries to find someone I meshed well with and felt a connection to. I knew that once I found this person, it would be evident since I am a unique person, and he would be, too, in some ways, based on how he sees and interacts with the world.
About 6 months after I created my 100+ item list of metrics, with clarifying paragraphs underneath each one, I seemed to have manifested the perfect match. The connection was there, and it was strong, and we seemed to have coincidentally found each other in the oddest of circumstances. I wasn’t even seriously assessing him on the app before we met, and that was the first time in a long time I took a risk like that.
Finding a soulmate or feeling intense love toward a person after a short time usually happens by chance. That’s why our grandparents…
