Friendship Compatibility
A friendship is one kind of relationship; you share space and time.
--
As with any relationship at all, friendship is a two-way street. Each friend needs to be available and friendly enough to sustain the relationship to meet the needs and expectations of the other. If you are invested so much, and the other is neglectful or ignoring you, friendships tend to fall apart. As soon as it starts to feel effortful, it’s not worth sustaining. Perhaps downgrading to acquaintances is better.
In some cases, your friend might develop a superiority complex, thinking he or she is better than you and not your equal. In that case, respect disintegrates and it’s better to be apart so as not to be exposed to someone who is condescending towards you. In these cases, it is not a compatible friendship and it’s better to seek alternatives or focus on your true friends.
It took me a while to be able to endure the loss of friends or the eventual drifting apart of once-friendly relations. I had to develop healthy regard for myself, confidence, and pride in who I am as a human being. I know today that I worked hard and fought to become who I am and that person is significant, powerful, and honorable. Therefore, if I lose a friend for whatever reason, I can be mature about it, and let it go. I believe mostly that it’s their loss and that they will be missing out on incredible learning opportunities by breaking our connection.
Our body undergoes a series of coping mechanisms while our minds reevaluate what essentially happened. This process may take some time, but we must persist and maintain our existing friendships that are strong and supportive. My personal life experiences need to be seen and honored by my friends for me to feel comfortable letting them into my life. If you don’t reveal how you feel, it’ll remain quiet and closeted until you build up the courage to do so.
True friends are those who consistently care, appear concerned, and seek out opportunities to be available, supportive, and willing to spend time to have fun and enjoy life alongside you. They are nonjudgmental to the extent that they accept you sufficiently for who you are and admire that person. Your friends must also be worthy of admiration by you and for you to feel a certain kind of love towards them.
As soon as I started school, I cherished what friendships could be and what they already were to me. They were another perspective, an escape from a limited life with my family, and a way to expand on my worldview. Friendships throughout my life allowed me to feel, grow, and mature over time. I learned the hard way that friends easily come and go and we must persist if we’d like social wellness, happiness, and support from the humans around us.
Aimee Sparrow is an author, applied philosopher, and mathematician who has been living with a mood disorder for more than a decade and advocates for happiness and inner peace. She is the author of Lunacy. Follow her website for more details.
