Gender Dynamics and Why I Choose to be Labeled as a Straight Woman
Gender science and sexuality are complex and nuanced.
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After I walked out of one of my upper-level women’s history lectures for a class I took in college to meet my history requirement, I came to the conclusion that every woman is bi. Not only bisexual but bigender. That there was fluidity and flexibility to all of us inherent in who we are. It didn’t seem like the binary definitions made sense anymore. We all hold complex thoughts, and passions, and most of what we believe is societally enforced, so why not let ourselves have some space and be who we actually are?
For me, choosing one side of the gender and sexuality binary works for me and is what I find most gratifying, as a straight woman. So even though in reality I embody a certain amount of fluidity in both gender and sexuality, I am most comfortable identifying with the gender and sexuality that is typical for my human form, because it is the best approximation for who I really am. If we begin to take away labels and live in a truly free society where children can grow up to be whoever they want to be, a lot of other things will need to change, including common social dynamics.
Therefore, in order to change society’s view on gender and sexuality, that these exist on a spectrum and do not snap to binary sides, we must disintegrate these common social dynamics from the ground up. The first step is to practice compassion, understanding, and acceptance of those who choose to come out as what we now consider an atypical gender designation or even sexual orientation and eliminate the us versus them mentality.
Since we are in essence, all genderfluid and sexually fluid to an extent, we must see each of these designations as relatable to ourselves. In the way we look at someone of a different race and think that they are like us since we share a common ancestor from thousands of years ago, we can relate to someone who identifies LGBTQIA+ with compassion.
I believe admitting we all have elements of a man in us if we are a woman or a woman in us if we are a man can make us more accepting of others. For sake of simplicity, many of us decide to remain inconspicuous while there is social change, but there’s no harm in admitting we aren’t totally who we appear to be. To be asked to be labeled differently is also within our rights, including clarification of pronouns, because each of us is unique and has our own view of how to be the happiest version of ourselves we can be because love is gender-neutral.
Aimee Sparrow is an author, applied philosopher, and mathematician who has been living with a mood disorder for more than a decade and advocates for happiness and inner peace. She is the author of Lunacy. Follow her website for more details.
