Surviving the Trials of Bipolar Disorder
And living extremely well.
Feeling emotionally dysregulated when you have a type 1 mood disorder puts you through hell, and you wish you were dead. This happens casually to me as often as once or twice a week. When it does, I struggle immensely and worry about such dooming thoughts, most of which might not be entirely realistic. Your mind stops understanding what is realistic and goes by emotion rather than logic, and then your logic is altered to make us believe fully in false stories that internally destroy us.
I have bipolar I disorder, and every week is a celebration because every week, I have to thank myself for working through struggles to keep myself alive. I heard that there are people with bipolar disorder who are dependent on a caretaker, on workplace disability, or even on unemployment benefits. It’s not easy to live with a serious mental disorder and overly intense mood fluctuations.
One thing that sets me apart is that I am extremely courageous. In dreams, I do the impossible, and I confront all my nightmares with a boldness that translates directly to what I can do in real life if prompted. Perhaps this happened over time as I adapted to being bipolar. Maybe my ongoing war hardened me.
Today, I live exceptionally well. I have a Waterview condo, and I live with my…
